Ravens Fans May Have Been Exposed To Bat With Injured Achilles Carrying Rabies

Terrell Suggs Baltimore Bat

Harmless Baltimore bat still on the loose.

NBC 4 in Washington, D.C. reports via their website that Baltimore Ravens fans may have been exposed to rabies during their second preseason game at M&T Bank Stadium this past Friday night against the Detroit Lions.

The website reports that a bat landed on a person in the stands who proceeded to just brush it away. Authorities were unable to capture the bat for testing and The Maryland Department of Health is asking anyone who may have come into contact with a bat to contact their local health department.

Although no description of the bat was given, it likely weighs 260 pounds and is 6 foot, 3 inches tall and looks like Mushmouth of the Fat Albert gang. The bat likely does not move very well on the ground after injuring its Achilles in an offseason pickup basketball game, which the bat denies ever happened. The bat in the past has been known to also verbally place bounties on NFL players.

This bat is pretty much harmless, as its grotesque appearance is much worse than its bite. The bat also can be recognized by its lack of Super Bowl rings and crab cake stench, and is also known to like useless baths in Gatorade.

The bat is considered harmless to any fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers unless they are offended by jealousy.

In closing, if you need to seek refuge from the Baltimore bat, just go to your closest football field, because the bat will not be able to get close to one for the foreseeable future. Steelers left tackle Max Starks has been summoned to capture the bat in hopes of owning it.

  • Clint Martin


  • SteelerDave

    Lol, too funny. I may just have to buy Max a bat house to hang from some tree.

  • Steve Duncan

    Considering Suggs has sacked Ben more than any other NFL player, I wouldn’t say much about any Steelers OL owning him. He clearly owns them.

    I get what you were going for here, but it was only kind of funny.

  • Intropy

    I assume the bat comment was because of the face paint he uses.

  • Guest

    Heh heh heh. Mushmouth. I always thought “Alice the Goon!”

  • Richard Edlin

    It’s kind of cheap … a good guide might be: if someone was visiting here for the first time and saw this, would they get the wrong idea about the site? I suspect they would and that risk isn’t worth the cheap laugh at Suggs’ expense.

  • Brendon Glad

    He’s damn good but I can’t stand him. He makes ray Lewis seem like my childhood hero!

  • Chris

    I’m a Steeler fan living in Ravens country and I have to say that Suggs has owned us for the past several meetings and suggesting that Max Starks has any chance of containing him is a bit ridiculous. I don’t like Suggs but I tip my hat to him as a player. He plays hard and always gives us a tough time.

    Also, this article wasn’t funny at all.

  • Steve Duncan

    I get voted down for speaking the truth? Nice.

  • Ahmad

    LMAO! I was a little slow in getting the joke but it was funny nevertheless.